Sometimes I forget that YouTube doesn’t have to be a space where everything is perfect. I lose sight of why I started my channel in the first place: to have a space for creativity, to challenge myself, build a community, and open up new opportunities. It’s a place where I can simply exist and appreciate the beauty of that existence.
Lately, I’ve been preoccupied with producing stronger, more engaging content, but this focus pulls me away from the bigger picture. Since starting YouTube three months ago, I’ve realized a few things. For one, I don’t want to create short-form content anymore. It feels like it’s distracting me from the essence of why I began my channel.
I started this journey to embrace a slower pace of life, to create long-form content that allows me to savor the experience. Short-form content—on platforms like TikTok or Instagram—feels rushed, and while I’ve stopped using TikTok, I still find myself consuming short videos on Instagram and YouTube Shorts. My brain craves it, and for a while, I thought I needed to create that kind of content too, just to stay relevant. But that’s not what I want.
I enjoy the slower process, the quiet moments. Yet, my mind has been conditioned to find that boring. I know I need to combat this. Through my channel, I have the power to retrain my mind—to enjoy the slower process, to focus on the meaningful work that fulfills me.
What sparked this reflection is:
- Three months of commitment: YouTube has become a meaningful part of my life. I can genuinely see myself doing this for a long time because I love it. Recently, I sat down and watched my own videos, something I hadn’t done before. Watching them made me realize how much I enjoy what I create. It feels calming and inspiring, a space where I can fully embrace my creativity.
- Inspiration from travel content: I watched a video of a girl enjoying her time in the Swiss Alps, and it reminded me of my love for travel—especially solo travel. It’s during those moments that my mind clears, and creativity flows. That video also reminded me to stop being so hard on myself about my channel.
When I started, my intention was to create a space where I could simply exist, but lately, I’ve been consumed by numbers and engagement. If a video doesn’t perform well, I feel disappointed. But why? I’ve achieved so much in three months. I’ve shared pieces of myself and created something meaningful for me. That’s an accomplishment worth celebrating.
In modern society, we often forget to pause and appreciate the progress we’ve made, big or small. I’ve hit so many of my goals in these three months, yet I haven’t celebrated them because I’m always asking, “What’s next?” It’s hard to sit in silence and simply acknowledge my wins.
Watching that travel vlog reminded me that this slower, intentional way of living is something I can create for myself. I don’t view my channel as a monetary venture, but as a space to open new doors. The abundance YouTube offers isn’t just financial—it’s mental and emotional. Every day, I understand myself better, meet new people, and create something meaningful.
This journey has shown me that authenticity is a gift. When I embrace my truest self, amazing opportunities arise. Financial gain may come in time, but what drives me is the ability to explore, create, and nurture a loving, authentic community.
After three months, I’m beginning to understand who I am and who I want to be. I’m discovering the kind of art I want to create and the goals I can accomplish through it. In time, I hope to become the version of myself who is comfortable moving slower, embracing the flow, and creating what I love.
The story I want to create is beautiful, and I need to lean into it—trusting the process, even when it feels uncomfortable.
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